Note from Jennifer: I’m on vacation this week so I’m sharing one of my favorite posts from five years ago. 

People often judge the success of freelance writers by the amount of money you make. Or the prestige of your clients. But I use another marker: your ability to choose your own clients. And I actually divide my career progression into three phases based on my ability to turn clients down.

Stage 1 of Success: The No A-hole Rule

After a few years of freelancing, I was getting enough decent paying work that I decided I was tired of working with jerks. So I made the “No A-hole Rule” meaning that I would not work with anyone who was an a-hole. I started screening my clients more and the minute I got a gut feeling that client was a jerk, I either didn’t take the project or didn’t work with them again. I wasn’t very good at spotting the jerks from the beginning yet, so this mainly involved not working for clients a second time. I had to drop some clients and turn down a few new clients.

While it seems like a no-brainer to stop working for a-holes, it’s actually a pretty big shift in mentality. It means that you no longer take any high paying client that comes along, but instead actively screen your clients to see if they are a match for you. Most of all, it changes the dynamic from a client interviewing you to a two-way interview/screening process to see if you are a fit for each other. You also have to start actively letting clients go that are not a fit for you, which is another shift in how you run your business.

I let go of a client that was a jerk. And turned down two other potential clients because they made comments during our initial phone call that ranked on my jerk radar. When I began turning down people that were hard to work with, my stress level went down, my productivity went up and my income followed. It was around this time that I broke $50K for the first time. While I think that some of the results were from lower stress, I think a lot of it was because I turned from a freelancer to a business owner by actively accepting and turning down well-paying clients that were not a match for me. 

Stage 2 of Success: Only Working with Nice People

I learned pretty quickly that there is a big gap between not being an a-hole and being a client that I genuinely like. Really big. I got a little more success and higher paying clients, so I took my rule a step further—I decided that I would only work with nice people.

I thought it would hurt my income, but the opposite happened. I made more money. And I was happier. Much happier. I honestly think that this is the biggest reason I broke six figures for the first time in 2015. This one decision changed my entire life and my career.

This meant never taking a client without having a “get to know you” phone call. And it meant turning down well-paying work, sometimes really well-paying. But it was worth it. Originally, I thought it would be hard to tell who was very nice in a 30-minute phone call, but I developed a screening process. If the phone call felt like an interview, then it wasn’t a fit. Even more, if the client didn’t have the time or desire to get on the phone with me before the project, then it wasn’t a fit. But if the conversation flowed naturally and was comfortable then the client passed my “nice” test and I would usually take the project.

Stage 3 of Success: Only Working With Very Nice People

Over the next two years, I started being booked up most of the time and having little availability. I had to say no to potential new clients and referred them to other freelancers. But I realized that I could always find room for a client that I really enjoyed working with to create great content – often by letting another client go. At this point, I decided to get even pickier and I changed my rule to “I only work with very nice people.”

When I tell this to other freelancers, they ask how I can tell if someone is a very nice person. My first answer is that, during the call, I ask myself if this is someone who I would want to go to dinner with if they came to Raleigh on business. If the answer is no, then they probably aren’t going to turn into an anchor client and someone I love working with.

The other way I do this is that I simply tell the potential client my rule during the phone call. If the phone call has been stiff and formal then I don’t even bother because I know that they aren’t a fit. But if it is a comfortable conversation then I simply tell them that I am at the point in my career where I can actively choose my clients and that I only work with very nice people. I explain about the no a-hole rule and then how it turned into the nice people rule and now I am successful enough that I only work with very nice people.

If a client is a good fit for me, then at this point they are usually laughing and always chiming in with “Oh my goodness. I totally agree. Life is too short.” Or even better, “I have the same rule and wanted to talk with you to make sure you were very nice before we hired you.” And if a client doesn’t fit my personality and what I’m looking for, then there is a bit of uncomfortable silence and they don’t know what to say. The conversation usually ends shortly thereafter.

Then throughout the relationship, I keep asking myself if I still think the person is very nice and if they are not, then I finish up the current project and let the client go. It’s not a one-time decision, but something I think about continuously.

Creating Your Own Criteria

Your criteria for who is a nice person and very nice person (I find that the definition of an a-hole is more universal) are likely not exactly the same as mine. It’s more than okay that your criteria for your perfect client looks different. That’s actually the point. You likely have different flags for someone being an a-hole and someone qualifying as very nice. The key is knowing these flags and actively screening your potential clients for those requirements.

If you aren’t at the point of being able to be this picky with your clients, that’s okay. It takes time. To get to this point, you typically need to be established to the point that the majority of your work comes to you instead of you hunting for work. I didn’t get to the third phase overnight, either. It took eight years of freelancing. So if you are still struggling to make ends meet, then start by instituting the no a-hole rule and go from there.

But that’s the important part—starting to screen your clients based on criteria that works for you. I personally consider this the biggest marker of a successful freelancer—not income, not household brands, but the ability to choose your clients.

Do you have a “No A-hole” rule already? How can you tell whether a potential client might be an a-hole?