Note from Jennifer: Of all the topic threads in The Freelance Content Marketing Writer group on Facebook, one of the most common themes is how to respond to difficult issues in client relationships. It’s often less about the work itself and more about work styles, personalities, and unequal expectations. Because this is such a common topic, I decided to ask Cat DiStasio to write about it for my blog, so writers outside the Facebook group can learn to work with their clients better. Check out all the advice Cat has previously shared on my blog, and visit her website and blog as well.

By Cat DiStasio

A big part of running your own freelance writing business is being the bad guy. Saying no. Setting boundaries. Addressing problems. Most freelance writers I know do not enjoy any of these things and work really hard to avoid them. Some people even feel anxiety when they know there is an issue that needs to be faced, but in my experience, most of those icky feelings come from not knowing what to say or how to say it.

From time to time in every freelancer’s business, there will be difficult issues that we need to discuss with our clients. The possible scenarios are endless. A client asks for work that is out of scope. The revision process has become dizzying and time-consuming. You’re planning a month-long vacation in Europe and want to make sure your client will still want you when you return. You want to switch from an hourly rate to a project rate, or turn your contract into a retainer agreement.

Regardless of the specific topic you need to address, here are 5 things to remember when preparing to have a difficult conversation with a client:

1. You’re a business owner, and this is a business matter.

Sometimes, the key to a freelancer’s success lies in accepting that you need to make decisions based on your business priorities, and not on whether or not people will like you. I’m not saying you have to make people hate you, either. But the point is that when you address a problem or an issue with a client, you shouldn’t really be worried about how they will feel. You should be concerned with whether your requests and expectations are reasonable, and whether you’re able to communicate about them in a professional way. And while some problems leave us with no choice but to cut a client loose, most of the time, the goal is to simply improve the working relationship for mutual benefit. And when clients know that you are trying to make smart decisions as a business owner, they will often respect you for it, as they are trying to make good decisions to benefit their company as well.

2. Offer solutions along with your complaints.

When something isn’t right in a freelancer-client relationship, chances are that both sides are aware of the problem before anyone says anything. Being the first one to speak up takes courage, and there’s are right and wrong ways to break the news. If you’re tackling an issue with a client you hope to keep for the long haul, it’s best to start with the good news. Tell your client that you enjoy and value the relationship, and want to make it as efficient and beneficial as possible. Then, succinctly explain the issue and launch directly into your suggestions. Emphasize that you want to work with them to find a solution that works for everyone involved, and ask what they think. Then take a deep breath and be prepared to listen.

3. Practice on a friend.

Before you unleash your frustration on your client, send an email or get on the phone with one of your writer friends. Getting a second opinion about your complaints and what you want to do about them is a great way to anticipate a client’s response, and prepare yourself for the discussion or negotiation. We run scenarios like this often in the Freelance Content Marketing Writer group that Jennifer started on Facebook, and it’s amazing to see how writers with different backgrounds and levels of experience have helped each other strategize conflict resolution issues with clients, and often come back with good news.

4. Know your breaking point before you start the discussion.

If there’s a chance that addressing your problem could result in having to walk away from the client, it’s best to have a good understanding of those boundaries before you bring up the issue. This may be a rate threshold you can’t afford to negotiate down from, or some other aspect of your scope of work. Feeling good about your boundaries will make it easier to have the discussion, though. Rather than feeling like a conflict based on you vs. them, you’ll be able to frame the conversation in terms of “Does this meet my business goals?” When you remove your personal feelings from the equation, you can be more confident about having the discussion.

5. Consider the best platform for discussion based on the issue.

There isn’t anyone among us who hasn’t slaved over a carefully crafted email, editing and revising multiple drafts and trying to lay out a comprehensive argument to get what we want. And while email is a fine format for a lot of issues, it’s not best for everything. Sometimes, there is no substitute for getting on the phone. If your decisions about how to approach an issue have a lot of variables, and you need to know where your client stands before you know how to proceed, asking for a phone call might make the most sense. It’s best to give your client an idea about what you want to talk about, so they can prepare (mentally or otherwise), but you don’t necessarily have to tell them all your demands ahead of time.

Building lasting relationships with anchor clients is the best way to increase your income and grow your freelance writing business. In order to do that, you have to become a master at communication and conflict resolution. Practicing these strategies on tiny issues will help you build confidence to tackle larger problems, helping you get more of what you want out of your work. And that’s a big part of what freelancing is all about.

Do you have any tips for talking to clients about problems or bad news?