How 10 Minutes with Pat Conroy Changed My Life

 

Lords of Discipline

Today I am not going to talk about content marketing. But instead I want to share how the 10 minutes I spent with author Pat Conroy, who passed away on Friday, changed my life. I am positive that without that brief conversation that I would probably still be writing boring technical manuals in a cube somewhere. It’s easy to forget how brief interactions, even if we aren’t a world renowned author like Conroy, have the power to give someone the courage that they need. So I want to share my story.

It was 1996. I was living in Sarasota, working my first real job and still feeling like I was playing grown-up every day. I knew in my heart that writing tax software online help wasn’t my superpower, but didn’t know what to do about it. Then one sunny late winter day, Pat Conroy came to sign his new book Beach Music.

Pat Conroy Book coverI had discovered Pat Conroy’s books in college during a trip to Charleston and spent the next few years reading and rereading everything I could find with his name on the cover. Yes, I have read Beach Music over five times and I would need three hands to count the number of times I’ve finished Lords of Discipline. But more than the stories, I quickly in love how his words made me feel, images his descriptions created in my head and his understanding of how our life experiences shape how we approach the world. And I learned so much more about writing from my afternoons spent in his books than I ever did from any writing class.

I realized as I gathered up all of my Pat Conroy books to take to the book signing, that he might give me the world’s worst fan award when he saw my books. I am not one of those people who treats books like a precious objects. I fold down the pages. I take them with me everywhere. I write in them. I love them, literally, sometimes to pieces. So when I loaded up the books into a ratty Publix bag, they looked like they had been through a war. They were tattered, worn, two had no covers and one had fallen in the pool.

After laughing and crying my way through his hour-long talk, I stood in a long line to get him to sign my books. Everyone else was at least 40 years older than me and seemed to have a brand new book in their hand. I kept trying to hide my shopping bag, which kept ripping and was now knotted in three places. I was nervous. I almost left. But then I remembered that I had paid $25 for the ticket, which was my entire week’s entertainment budget.

When I placed my books on the table for him to sign, I apologized for the terrible condition of his books. He put his pen down, looked me in the eyes and said “You have just given me the greatest compliment that an author can get. I cannot thank you enough. All of these ladies who ran downstairs and bought a copy of the book five minutes ago, probably never read it. I know that you love my books.” When he got to my copy of Lords of Discipline (which was brand new looking), he said “What, you didn’t like this one?” I sheepishly said “That is actually my third copy, the first two literally fell apart because I read it so much.” He laughed a big belly laugh as he signed it.

He held up the line and spent 10 minutes talking to me about writing and life. Without Pat Conroy’s influence, I am not sure that I would be where I am today in my writing career. I took the message during his talk about his persistence in getting published to heart on the days that I felt (and still do) like a fraud. And during the few minutes he spent with me he encouraged me to keep writing and write about things that I cared about. He told me he could tell I had stories to share that went far beyond tax software. The kindness he showed to some young random kid that day gave me the courage to find my voice and share my stories.

Thank you Pat Conroy for every word that you wrote that made us smell the low country salt air, feel like your characters were our friends and carry your stories in our heart. The world was so much better because you were in it and shared your beautiful words with us. My life is richer from reading your books and especially spending those ten minutes with you. You will be missed.

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9 Comments

  1. Patrik on March 8, 2016 at 8:35 am

    I sort of spontaneously jumped, reading your words, -“feeling like”..-“fraud”. I’m Sorry about your litterary loss. Do you experience the framework feeling?- Solving only, problems, felt as in your own interest,and perhaps your main motivational impetus,-drive? Thanks for a nice piece of writing! 🙂



    • Jennifer Goforth Gregory on March 8, 2016 at 9:40 am

      HI Patrik, Can explain what you mean more about what you mean about the framework feeling and solving only problems in my own interest?

      I wrote that I often feel like a fraud because every time I start a new big project, I wonder if I am capable and that if all my previous success has been a fluke. I share that feeling because I think that a lot of newer writers think that once a writer achieves a certain level of success they feel confident in my abilities. But I know that isn’t always the case. I feel confident when I’m in my wheelhouse, but when I get a great opportunity, I stress and it often takes me an hour to finally hit the send button. Does that clarify?



      • Patrik on March 8, 2016 at 3:34 pm

        Hi. I’m thankful for you, taking time. Yes it does clarify. My reference to frames were intended to describe a pre-set object of analysis a text. Judging by appearence, the genre in question, and from that, approaching by an appropriate angle. And me,-sort of preconcieving, full of prejudice & jumping the outcomes. Perhaps this is more in your line of the content marketing work? Thanks again. 🙂



  2. Nancy Mann Jackson on March 8, 2016 at 9:50 am

    Jennifer, I share your love for Pat Conroy and his books and was sad to hear of his passing. I love your story and have a similar story of a conversation with another writer I admire, Rick Bragg, who also helped push me along to do the things I was meant to do (still working on doing all of them!). I agree that taking time to listen and share with another person can make a difference. Thank you for sharing this!



    • Jennifer Goforth Gregory on March 9, 2016 at 8:18 pm

      That is so awesome that you got to meet Rick Bragg. Thank you for the kind words about my story.



  3. Lori Ferguson on March 8, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    Fabulous story, Jennifer! It’s amazing, isn’t it, how powerful it can be to have someone you admire take a few minutes out of his or her day to listen and encourage? Doesn’t even have to be someone famous, it’s just being *seen* by someone you look up to that’s so incredible.

    And I *completely* get the ‘fraud’ feeling. I experience it, too.

    Thanks for your generosity of spirit–I always enjoy your posts!



    • Jennifer Goforth Gregory on March 9, 2016 at 8:18 pm

      You are so right! I try so hard to remember that in my real life and some days do better than others. Little kindnesses can be life changing.

      I’m glad you liked it. I ended up getting it published yesterday in Pat Conroy’s hometown paper and was so thrilled!



  4. Holly Bowne on March 9, 2016 at 7:58 pm

    Great. Now I’m crying. That was a beautifully told story, Jennifer. Thank you for sharing it with us.



    • Jennifer Goforth Gregory on March 9, 2016 at 8:16 pm

      Awww. I’m so glad you liked it. I need to remember to write more stuff that comes from my heart. This was so much fun to write. I ended up getting it published yesterday in Pat Conroy’s hometown paper, which made me ridiculously happy.